The Beginning
by mimoji
Summary: This is my version of what happened after the XFiles movie. MSR. finished. FEEDBACK WELCOME!
1. Chapter 1

THE BEGINNING

**This is set in the storylines after „The End" and the movie, it's my version of „The Beginning", with some alterations to fit my story in. None of the characters are mine, I just borrow them for writing purposes. MRS**

Scully was pacing up and down the aisle in her apartment. She was trying to come to grips with what she had seen in the hospital room, with Mulder and Agent Fowley... Diana! She knew it had been some time back, but she just couldn't figure out what Mulder saw in her, and she also couldn't figure out what bothered herself about all this. After all, Mulder was just her work partner. And yet it had been haunting her all the time, but now it was stronger than ever.

After a while realisation hit her in the face. Apparently she did have feelings for Mulder that had nothing to do with a work relationship. It took her by surprise because never before had she bothered to contemplate about this despite their almost kiss just before she got stung by a bee. Mulder and her spend most of the days together working on the x-files, it became second nature to her being around him, and she had to admit to herself that she cherished his presence.

She walked into the living room, sitting down on her couch. Now that she admitted her emotions to herself, she mused what had to come next? Talk to Mulder about it? Never!!! The last thing she wanted was Mulder to get so close to her that she couldn't bear anyone else in his life. But wasn't it already like this?

A short while later, Scully got up from the couch. She had made a decision. She was going to confront someone about it, but that someone wasn't to be Mulder, but Agent Fowley. She just needed to find out what Fowley's feelings were like in the whole situation.

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Scully was standing outside Agent Fowley's office. She heard a voice inside seemingly Agent Fowley was on the phone. Taking a deep breath, Scully lifted her hand and knocked on the door.

„Come in", Fowley's voice said.

Scully opened the door and went inside. After closing the door she sat and waited till Fowley had ended her phonecall.

„Agent Scully," Diana Fowley said, „what can I do for you?"

„I need to ask you something", Scully replied, „something personal, I might add!"

„Personal?" Fowley raised an eyebrow. „You got my full attention!"

„It's about Agent Mulder. I noticed that you know each other for some time and I've heard rumours that there was more to it than just friendship", Scully started. She tried making it sound like it didn't involve her own feelings, but was just concern for her FBI partner.

„That was then. But your concern seems to be in the present. What causes it?"

„Well, I saw Mulder's reaction when he heard you were also assigned onto the case", Scully hesitated.

„His reaction?" Fowley queried.

Scully didn't pick up on that. _How am I gonna get to the point without giving myself away?_ she thought.

„And the other day, in the university where we were watching out for Gibson, I saw his face when you held his hand. I just want to make sure his mind won't be pre-occupied with you rather than the case", she said. _Yet it is my own mind that is pre-occupied._

„Don't worry", Fowley answered. „My feelings for him I lost long ago, but I know what you mean. It might be different with his feelings, and for my aims that can only be good!"

The phone rang again.

„Please, if you would leave now, this phonecall I've been waiting for and it's private!"

Scully nodded and left, but in her head she was thinking about Agent Fowley's last words before the phone rang. What were here aims? There was something in Fowley's eyes that worried Scully, as it showed no compassion of any sort.

In the hallway she passed Agent Spender, who apparently was on his way to Fowley's office.

Scully opened her mouth to greet him, but she said nothing. Spender looked like his mind was anywhere but in the hallway. _I wonder what's the reason for that,_ Scully thought.

She watched Spender really entering Fowley's office. She knew that Spender and Mulder were sort of enemies, so she decided to eavesdrop on them.

What she heard made her blood run cold in her veins. It looked as if they were planning to keep Mulder away from Gibson and the supposedly alien creature case at any costs.

„I will use everything in my power to prevent his interference", Scully heard Fowley say. „And I believe he still trusts me blindly!"

„That can be of big help", Spender replied. „Just don't forget the one thing, Diana... it is I who loves you, not him. So I also have a say in how far you go!"

Spender loves Fowley??? Scully's mind reared. That sounded like a dangerous mixture. _I better tell Mulder about all this._

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„But you have to believe me", Scully said passionately, „I heard it with my own ears!"

„Scully, I know Diana for years and I believe I know her better than you..." – „So I've heard", Scully muttered despite herself.

„What? What did you hear?", Mulder wanted to know.

Scully was silent for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and said: „That you and Fowley were an item, and it seems you still have the hots for her! That's what makes your eyes blind for reality!"

Now it was Mulder who was silent for a moment. When he spoke again he said: „If I didn't know any better, Scully, I would almost say you're jealous!", he jested.

Scully looked up in his eyes. „No I'm not. I'm just rational", she then pressed out, knowing deep in her mind that she was lying. That was so unlike her, but she couldn't help herself.

Mulder saw how uncomfortable she got so he kept in the reply he had ready. He also saw her concern was genuine. „I'll think about what you said!", he assured her.

„Mulder, just be careful. This whole case is full of dangers, whether from _aliens_ or real people."

After Scully had left, Fox Mulder thought about everything. He was sure his friend Diana still had feelings for him, as he had for her. He could feel it when they were holding hands before Diana was shot some time ago. But he also cared a lot about Scully, he only never thought of it in any other way than work related.

But now he had to think about it. Scully really seemed desperate and it tore him apart. He didn't know what to feel. Slowly he picked up the phone and started dialling Diana's number.

„Fowley", the well known voice on the other end said.

„Diana, it's me", Mulder said.

„Fox?", Fowley said after a short break. „Is that you?"

„Yeah!"

„What can I do for you, Fox?"

„Well, to come straight to the point, I heard that you and Spender _(that name he almost spat out in disgust)_ are planning to keep me away from the case that I got almost shoved into this morning. It resembles the experiences I have made in the Antarctica a short while ago and I would like to know if there's any truth to it."

„Fox, there's nothing I can do, I just follow orders, same as you." After a brief pause she continued: „Actually, you're interfering with our research right now, so I'll have to hang up on you. Sorry!", she said.

„Where are you?", Mulder demanded.

„At a nuclear plant, but... Fox... Fox???", but he had ended the phone call already.

Nuclear plant was all he needed to know. Quickly he dialled Scully's number.

„Scully... meet me in the car in 5 mins!", he didn't bother awaiting a reply.

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When Scully and Mulder reached the nuclear plant Mulder knew immediately he was in the right place. He jumped out of the car making his way to the entrance when he got held up by Agent Spender.

„Mulder, what are you doing here?", he queried.

„Let me go!", was Mulder's reply. Scully had joined him now.

Spender continued to hold Mulder up and soon got joined by Agent Fowley, who also insisted that Mulder and Scully would leave.

Heading back to the car they discovered that they have a blind passenger: Gibson Praise! Without arousing further suspicion they left and brought Gibson to their Motel room.

„We have to bring him to a hospital, Mulder. He needs professional care!", Scully said.

But Mulder was thinking about using the boy's abilities to find the creature he was after. Finally Scully managed to convince Mulder to bring Gibson to a hospital.

Just as they were about to leave, a car approached theirs and blocked their way. It was Agent Fowley.

„Fox, can I speak with you a moment? I'm alone and unarmed.", she asked.

Mulder hesitated shortly, then walked over to her.

„Fox, it wasn't up to me to keep you away from the crime scene, but I KNOW that you will find evidence there you so desperately need. I'm still on your side and I didn't ask to be assigned to this case. I have the means now to bring you into the plant. Come with me!"

Mulder pondered a moment. He was torn between the worry about Gibson, Scully's warning about Diana and the opportunity she was giving him now. He walked over to Scully's car.

„You bring Gibson to safety, I'll go with Diana. I'll phone!", he told Scully. He could see the annoyance and worry in her eyes, but she said nothing.

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Scully was waiting in the office. Finally she heard the door open and Mulder was standing in front of her. He just looked at her, but that look said a thousand words.

„What happened?", she asked.

After Mulder had told her how he and Fowley had found traces of the creature and the scene with Gibson and his kidnapper in the reactor room, the attack of the creature and how Fowley turned on him after the alarm was raised, Scully looked alarmed, yet satisfied.

„Didn't I tell you not to trust her?"

„Scully, she had no choice. She couldn't risk being caught, especially with me!"

„Mulder, can you not or don't you want to see she is using you???", Scully gasped, incredulous, „She's taking you for a fool! She knows you love her and uses this to bring you down! You're risking everything and that's what she wants!"

Mulder was standing there, motionless, taking in the meaning of Scully's words.

„Mulder?" – No respond.

„MULDER!!!" He slowly looked up. For a moment their eyes locked and then Mulder turned and left the office again.

„Where are you going?", Scully called after him, but got no reply.

Swearing silently she got up and tried to follow him.

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Without a knock or anything Mulder stormed into Fowley's office. As he expected he found Spender with her.

„Who do you think you are bursting into Diana's office!", Spender demanded. 

Mulder noticed the familiarity with which Spender used Agent Fowley's first name. He ignored Spender, went up close to Diana Fowley and started talking to her.

„Is it true? IS IT TRUE???", he couldn't control his anger.

„Is what true?", Agent Fowley asked back.

„You know what I'm talking about! You're using whatever has been between us. You're using it to destroy me... so you can be with this puppet", he nodded his head into Spenders direction. Spender wanted to retort, but a glance of Fowley shut him up.

„I still don't know what you mean, Fox!", Fowley replied, while taking a few steps back.

„You've lost your right to call me Fox!", Mulder was in rage. It was as if his eyes were open now to see what Scully had seen all the time, what he had forced himself to overlook. He got closer to her. His anger threatened her.

„You don't deserve the love I once had for you... run off with that lowbudget knitwit!"

Something inside Agent Spender snapped. He got hold of a statue on Fowley's desk and hit it over Mulder's head. Blood splattered and Mulder turned to look at Spender. The blow had dazed him and before he could gather a clear thought Spender continued to beat him.

„Stop it!", Fowley was yelling to Spender but there was no stopping him.

The next blow Mulder managed to block with his arm. He gasped in pain while looking for something to defend himself with. When he saw nothing he remembered his firearm. He drew it but the same moment Spender realised what he did and whacked the statue over Mulder's hand.

The gun went flying over the room. Mulder sank to his knees, pain filling every inch of his body. With all his gathered strength he got up again and just as Spender was swinging for the next blow Mulder also grabbed the statue.

The two Agents were fighting an uneven fight while Fowley was standing there, unable to react. Soon Spender managed to shake of the injured Mulder and aimed a blow at his torso. The statue broke in pieces as Mulder was almost to dazed to scream in pain.

He was crumpled on the floor, seeing but not feeling the kicks in his ribs, back and on his head until blackness embedded him.

Only now, a few moments after Mulder stopped moving, Spender came to his senses. What had he done? In panic he grabbed Fowley's hand and dragged her out of the room.

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Scully hadn't been able to see where Mulder went to, and since she couldn't find him at his apartment she returned to her car, driving to the only other location she would think he would head to in that situation: Agent Fowley's office.

On the hallway everything was quiet. Scully hesitated. She had expected to hear the shouting on the floor already, but it was all so quiet. When she came closer, she saw the door to the office was open.

Nothing could have prepared her to what she was about to see. In the corner Mulder was lying, seemingly unconscious but covered in blood and still bleeding profusely.

„MULDER!!!", Scully screamed as she ran towards him. There was almost no spot on his clothes that was not bloody. She checked for a pulse and was relieved to feel it. She got up and phoned security and an ambulance.

„My God, Mulder... what did they do to you?", she asked her still partner. She gathered what she could to make emergency bandages to stop the bleeding. Then she opened his shirt. His rib area was already turning black and blue.

In the distance she heard the sound of the ambulance.

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It was dark, and all he was aware of was pain. The pain was everywhere. What had happened to make him feel this way? He was searching his brain for an answer, but even that hurt.

Slowly he started opening his eyes. Even the dim light in the room he was in was making his eyes tear. He found he was in a hospital room, and to his right in a chair sat Scully, sleeping. Mulder looked down his body. There seemed to be bandages everywhere.

"Ouch", he winced when he tried to turn a bit. His entire body was sore. But his wince woke up Scully.

"Mulder!", she said happily. "Don't move! I'm so glad to see you awake! Are you in a lot of pain?"

"I think so," Mulder said weakly. "But Scully... get me out of here, please!"

"But Mulder, you had us all worried and you're not in the state to run around again!", Scully protested.

"I don't want to stay here!", Mulder was adamant.

"It's not up to me, but I'll see what I can do. Do you know what happened?", she asked.

Sometimes she really wondered where his fear of being in a hospital originated.

He nodded his head yes in reply to her question. He knew what had happened. It still shocked him. But he didn't want to talk about it... yet.

Scully saw his nod and said: "Ok, then I'll go and see if I can do anything to make you more comfortable."

She got up and left his room to find one of his doctors. When she did she explained the situation. The medics were not happy about Mulder's wishes, but when they heard Scully was also a medic they agreed to let him leave, but only if she took over his care.

"Good news, Mulder", Scully smiled when she returned to his room.

"Can I leave?" Mulder asked hopefully.

"They want to do some more tests, but then you can leave... on one condition!"

"What is that?"

"I'll have to stay with you. You must listen to what I tell you. And if something deteriorates I'll have to bring you back to hospital immediately!"

Mulder let out a sigh. "I think I can live with that, especially with the part that you have to stay with me." With that he smiled boyishly at Scully.

Scully saw his expression and turned around, rolling her eyes. He would never change. Not even being beaten up as he was could stop him from teasing her. _In a way, that's what I like about him,_ Scully thought to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

The beginning – chapter 2 

Dana Scully was watching the sleeping form of her partner, Fox Mulder. It had been 3 days since she brought him to her place to recover from his injuries. To her surprise, up until now Mulder had always complied to her instructions, very unlike him. It told her that he was not feeling too well yet.

He was getting better, the only thing worrying her were his nightmares, that he's always had ever since she met him first. Not even a state of recovering saved him from his every night tortures. She just wished she knew what she could do to help him.

Now he was lying there on the sleeper couch in her living room, sleeping peacefully. It was almost midnight and Scully decided it was time for her to turn in as well.

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"Nooooooooooooooooo...!!!"

Scully woke with a start. It was almost 3 a.m. She was wondering what had woken her when she heard shallow moans from her living room.

She got up and went to check what was going on.

Mulder was tangled up in his sheets, moving violently, moaning and shouting intelligible all the time. Scully rushed to his side and tried to rouse him.

"Mulder", she called, shaking him slightly by his shoulder. She could feel his shirt was drenched with his sweat. She could also feel the heat radiating from his body. He was having a nightmare, and a fever.

Scully moved her hand to his forehead. He was burning up and she went to the kitchen to get some medicine to lower his fever.

"Mulder, wake up", she said when she returned to his side. Slowly he started to get lucid.

"I need you to take these", Scully told him when he sat up. She handed him the tablets and a glass of water to wash them down.

Again he took it without resistance. Then Scully got up and fetched a fresh t-shirt from her wardrobe. She had bought some for him because she didn't feel like going to his place to fetch them.

"Put this one on!", she ordered him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, look at you, Mulder. You're wet as a rag. If you go back to sleep in that shirt you'll definitely catch a cold or worse, and that would mean back to hospital." Scully replied, knowing exactly what effect the word _hospital_ would have on him.

Mulder's eyes widened a bit and he quickly complied.

"Scully", Mulder asked after he had changed his shirt.

"What?", Scully replied, looking at him.

"Thank you!" The way he said it and the way he looked at her while he did made her heart skip a beat.

After a short break to collect her thoughts she replied. "Mulder, you're my partner and I care about you a lot. It's only natural to do what I'm doing!"

"No, it isn't!" Mulder disagreed. "It's natural for you because... because you're special!"

Scully blushed slightly. He didn't notice because he was staring at his hands. When he looked up again he asked: "Will you stay here till I fall asleep again?"

_How old are you?_ Scully almost asked back. But she didn't say it. She knew why he had asked it. And she was determined to do anything in her power to keep him from having another nightmare. If that was what he wanted her to do, that was what she did.

So she merely nodded and sat next to him on the sleeper couch. They were staying like this for a while, neither of them saying something else. When Scully saw Mulder was about to drift back to sleep, she decided that if she wanted to find out what tortured him, she had to do it then.

"Mulder...", she started. He looked up at her, obviously drowsy with the need of sleep. "Hmmm..." he just mumbled back.

"I was wondering ever since I first had to see you in a hospital, what is making you so scared of it?" Scully was wondering if he'd lock up completely now of whether he actually decided to confide in her.

He didn't say anything for a long while. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it's just, I noticed so often already that it almost frightens you as much as fire does, and I really wonder why." Scully started to apologize.

"No need to be sorry. I know I can trust you", Mulder responded. He sat himself back up in the pillows, wincing slightly as his bruised ribs protested.

"It started after they took Samantha." His voice was a mere whisper. "I had a breakdown, blaming myself for what happened. Then again, my father also did. And I felt that even though she didn't say anything, my mother was also feeling it was my fault. I had to cope with the loss and the blame of everyone, including myself."

He stopped for a moment. When he continued, his voice was even softer than before. Scully had to strain her ears to understand what he said.

"One night, my mother caught me in the kitchen, trying to harm myself. That's when they put me in hospital. Since they considered I was a hazard to myself I was tied up most of the time. Even at night. That's when the nightmares started."

He paused again. Scully didn't say a word, scared of disrupting this intimate confession of his. She just took his hand into hers and squeezed it slightly. He looked at her briefly, with a thin smile on his face.

"When they considered me mentally strong enough to return to my parents, I was alone again. My mother tried her best to hide her thoughts but she couldn't get herself into even giving me the slightest hug. My father had started drinking and was more a hazard to me than I had ever been. It gradually improved over the years but it was never to return to the state it had been before they took Samantha!"

He paused again.

"That's when I decided it was my destiny to look for her. I kept telling myself, if only Sam is back, then everything will be as it was before!"

There was a tear in his eyes, as was in Scully's. She gave in to a sudden urge to hold him close and pulled him into a hug. She could feel him freeze for a split second. "Sorry, I'm so sorry", she whispered. "It's ok. I'm just not used to being hugged", he replied.

They again sat for a while, none of them daring to speak a word and breaking the silence. It was him that broke it finally.

"Scully...", he murmured, seeking her eyes. "Yes, Mulder", she replied, returning his look.

"That hug actually felt good. Can you do it again?" he asked her, his voice displaying a tiny little bit of roguishness.

Instead of a reply Scully just slid down to lay next to him, pulling him into a hug. They were lying like that for long moments, not stirring, not talking. When Scully looked at her partner again, she realised he was asleep. Not being able to will herself into letting him go, she also closed her eyes and soon was drifting off to sleep.

**TBC? Please let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

Mulder awoke in the morning, daylight creeping through the curtains to dip the room in a dim light. It took him a while to put everything in the right place, where he was, why and what had happened. He blinked his eyes a couple of times before he became aware of a pain in his ribs. It felt like someone was squeezing his ribcage. He threw a glance at his ribs and saw an arm on it – Scully's arm!

Slowly the sleep cleared from his mind and he remembered the last night. It felt good to have Scully cuddling up to him, but it also made him feel uneasy. And vulnerable. A mixture of feelings he wasn't sure he liked.

He tried moving his body out of Scully's hug, but a sharp pain in his ribs made him suppress a painful moan and move quickly to get it done with one motion.

_Wrong decision,_ he thought to himself when his head began to pound with the sudden movement. Despite himself he sucked the air noisily into his lungs.

"Mulder, what's wrong?", Scully's voice sounded sleepy but concerned. He looked at her, having her eyes still closed, rolling over on her back. Mulder didn't reply, head in hands, still trying to catch his breath.

"Mulder?", Scully sounded more urgent now. She had opened her eyes, body propped up on her elbows, looking at him with concern.

"I'm fine, just moved too fast", he managed to press out.

"Are you still in pain?", Scully queried. He simply nodded – slowly.

Scully got up and went to the kitchen to get some more painkillers for Mulder.

"Here, take that", she gave him the pills with a glass of water.

"No, Scully, I can't just live on medication", he contradicted her.

_Wow, _she thought. _He's beginning to get rebellious, he must be getting better._

"You take these now, end of story!", Scully said sternly. He looked at her, his eyes sparkling with defiance.

"No!"

Scully sighed. "You take it now and if you're a good boy I'll make you some breakfast!"

"Now you're talking", Mulder rewarded her with his cheeky grin. "Go ahead, I'll take it!"

"No, Mulder. Don't try and take me for a fool. I want to see you taking it", she gave him her suspicious look.

"Yes, mommy", Mulder rolled his eyes, took the pills, washed them down with water and opened his mouth to show her he really swallowed.

"Good boy", Scully smiled at him. "Now what'd you like for breakfast?"

"Scrambled egg and toast", he replied.

"Tea or coffee?"

"Coffee, please!"

He could hear Scully shuffling about in the kitchen. Mulder got up and went to the bathroom, washing and everything.

When he was done, he took out fresh clothes and dressed. _Gosh, I need to shave_, he thought when he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Where was his razor? After a short search he found it and went on to finish his task.

Mulder returned to the living room to see Scully having converted the sleeper couch back to a normal couch and setting the table.

"Look, Mulder, the coffee is still running, I'll get dressed quickly, so when it's done, fetch it, please."

"Will do, Scully!", Mulder said, sitting down on the couch.

On her way past him she put her hand on his forehead. "You feel way cooler", she stated happily.

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After breakfast Mulder began to feel like a new person. Almost 100 percent okay. That was until Scully insisted on checking up on his injuries.

"Gosh Scully, you just destroyed the whole picture", he moaned.

"What do you mean?", she just asked.

"You make me remember that I got a beating", he said.

"Sorry about that, but it can't be helped. Shirt off!", she ordered.

He sighed and complied. Carefully Scully unwrapped the bandage, then checked with soft fingers the bruised places. Even though she was careful, Mulder's nerves were on edge. He felt no pain from her touch, but he was getting goose bumps.

When Scully saw that she started laughing at which Mulder blushed. "It's not funny", he growled.

"Oh, Mulder", she laughed, "don't be like that. How does it feel? Do you still need a bandage?"

Mulder just shrugged. "Dunno", he said.

"Well, I'll strap it up again for today. Arms up!", she decided.

Mulder complied again, knowing well she'd do it anyway. While she was busy strapping his chest up she got a whiff of his after-shave. She sucked in the air and then whispered: "You smell good!"

Mulder could barely hear it, but he did. And it made him blush even more.

"Scully, you're making me uncomfortable, and I don't like being uncomfortable", he said softly, staring at his toes.

"Shirt back on!", she ignored his words, handing him his t-shirt.

For a few seconds he stood there rooted to the spot, unable to move. Then he slowly snapped out of it and put on his shirt.

"Do you feel like a change of scenery?", Scully asked him.

"Huh?", he didn't sound too intelligent, still trying to come to grips with why she made him feel uncomfortable.

"Well, I need to do some things, Skinner wants to see me and I was just wondering if you'd care to see your fish!", she explained.

"Yeah, sure", he agreed.

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At six o'clock in the evening Mulder opened his apartment door for Scully.

"Hey", he said.

"Hey, how are you doing?", she replied.

"Good", he answered.

"Any more pain?"

"Not worth mentioning!"

"Okay, so are you ready to go?"

"Go where?"

"Well, the docs I spoke to today said they want you to stay in company at least one more night."

"Nah, I'll be fine!"

"Mulder... those were the conditions. If you don't comply it's back to hospi..."

"I'm coming", he interrupted her.

"Did you eat anything yet?", Scully asked him in the car.

"Yeah", he replied, then looked at her. "Sunflower seeds!"

"Mulder, I meant something decent!"

"What is not decent about sunflower seeds?", Mulder asked back, slightly irritated.

"Well, you can hardly call it a full meal, can you?"

Mulder sulked and didn't reply.

"Gosh, Mulder, sometimes you're worse than a child!"

Mulder sulked a little more. Scully just shook her head in disbelief and decided to get some takeaways.

"Chinese? Pizza? Burgers? What would you like?"

No reply.

"Come on, or I'll just get anything and I'll force it down your gullet."

Mulder sighed. "Chinese", he then said.

"Finally", Scully replied and stopped by the next Chinese takeaway place.

They ate at Scully's place, talking a bit about their days. Then Mulder helped Scully clear up the trash. Afterwards they sat on the couch watching some TV.

"I want you to tell me if the TV gives you a headache, Mulder", Scully admonished him. Mulder looked at her, his mouth open, ready for a reply.

"Wait", Scully quipped, "there's something on your chin!", and she reached with her tissue to wipe it off.

Mulder froze.

"Mulder, if you're gonna freeze every time I touch you we'd better not work together anymore. The FBI has no use for frozen agents", Scully tried to joke.

"I can't help it", Mulder mumbled.

Scully switched off the TV, then turned towards him.

"Has it been that bad? I mean, lots of human interaction involves body contact. Yet it seems to me that any contact is scaring the hell out of you!" _Except last night, _she thought.

Mulder didn't know what to say.

"Mulder", Scully continued, putting her hand on his thigh. She felt him tense a bit, but then relax. He turned to look at her with his sad puppy eyes.

"Mulder, what I don't understand is when we're working we get into contact with all sorts of people, including body contact. That doesn't seem to bother you." She paused.

Mulder whispered something that she couldn't make out.

"What did you say?", she inquired.

"It's... they're not people I care about", he said softly.

Scully began to understand. People he cared about had – after Samantha's disappearance – just touched him to hurt him.

"Is that it? You're scared people you care about will hurt you?", she asked equally softly.

He nodded. "I don't want to get hurt again."

"Mulder, I'm not gonna hurt you!", Scully held out her hand to him. He looked at it, then slowly put his hand into hers.

"I also don't want you to get hurt", he continued. "Last time I touched you, you got hurt, Scully."

Scully was pondering his words one moment before she realised what he meant.

"Mulder, that was a bee! It had nothing to do with you. You can't possibly blame yourself for that! And besides – YOU saved me!"

Mulder looked up and sighed. "I know, I'm working on it!" He managed a tight smile.

"Now, let me do something for you", Scully said. He looked at her enquiringly.

"Injury check up", she just smiled. Mulder took off his shirt and let Scully unwrap the bandage.

"Flat on your stomach, Mulder", Scully said, pointing to the couch. Mulder hesitated a moment but then decided to trust Scully. After all, she had been there for him, sparing him another hospital stay.

Scully fetched an ointment which was helping to make the bruises heal faster and started rubbing it over his back. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on relaxing. Her hands felt good, but the bruises also hurt a bit. A moan escaped his lips.

"Does it hurt too much?", Scully queried.

"It hurts, yet it feels good", Mulder replied.

"Good", Scully said and continued her ministrations. With every minute she could feel the tension disappearing more and more. When she was done she covered him with a blanket and said: " Now stay down for a minute and relax!"

She went into the kitchen and returned with a steaming cup of hot milk with honey.

"Drink that!", she said. She saw Mulder was hesitating and laughed.

"Don't worry, there's no medicine in it. Just plain milk and honey."

He smiled. "Scully, I think I love you", he grinned.

Scully raised an eyebrow. "With that head of yours you shouldn't do much thinking now", she replied.

"Okay, no more thinking", he laughed and she joined in.

Mulder's laugh turned into a yawn.

"Gosh", he said, "I can tell my body took a beating. I'm already tired and it's not even 9 p.m. yet."

"Come on, we'll pull out the sleeper couch then you can drift off to sleep whenever", Scully suggested.

They did it, then Mulder went to the bathroom to change. When he got back, Scully had settled on the couch, watching a drama on TV:

"Scully, that's gonna make me sleep in no time!", Mulder grinned, tucking himself in his covers.

"Doesn't bother me", Scully replied. He was right. Within five minutes he was out and in dreamland. Scully watched the movie finished, then went to her bedroom to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the early hours of the morning Scully woke again from commotion in her living room. She got up to check what was going on.

Mulder was sitting on the couch, taking off his shirt and putting on a fresh one. He turned when he heard Scully's footsteps.

"Nightmare?", she asked.

He nodded.

She sat down next to him.

"What about?", she asked softly.

He swallowed, then whispered: "I couldn't save you from the aliens." He needn't say more. Scully knew how he felt.

"Anything I can do for you?", she asked. He shook his head no.

They sat there a minute, then Mulder said, barely audible: "Scully, can you hug me again?"

"Yeah", she replied, glad that he had asked for it. She had felt the urge to do so, but didn't dare because she feared his reaction.

She moved closer and pulled him into a hug. _Sometimes he's just like a small child_, she thought to herself. But she also knew that he was suffering from what he had experienced.

He reminded her of a strong, powerful beast that was weary and scared of leaving its lair which provided shelter and protection.

Slowly he freed himself of her embrace and turned towards her. For a long while they just looked deep in each other's eyes. Then, ever so slowly Mulder leaned forward.

Inches from her face he stopped, his eyes asking an obvious question. Scully understood and leaned forward as well.

Mulder hesitated to finish his bold move so it was Scully whose lips approached his. She lightly kissed his lips, which seemed to unfreeze him and he returned her kiss.

Scully reached around to pull him closer, and she could feel him tense for a split second again but he didn't break the kiss. When they parted they were both out of breath.

"Scully, I...", he started.

"Shhhhh", Scully whispered and sealed his lips with a brief kiss.

"Don't talk now. I'm just happy you're beginning to open up to me!"

**To be continued**


	4. Chapter 4

Mulder and Scully were still staring at each other, just relishing in the looks they exchanged. Mulder was wondering why he was still so jumpy. It was almost as if the incident in Diana Fowley's office had taken most of the trust he had in people and now poor Scully had to mend his "wounds". 

The ringing of the phone interrupted his thoughts. Dana Scully hesitated a moment before getting up to answer her phone. She went to the kitchen and Mulder could hear her talking but was incapable of making out the words.

After five minutes, Scully returned.

"It was Skinner", she said with a distant shiver in her voice. "They finally found Spender and Fowley." She saw how Mulder flinched at the mention of their names. She almost had the feeling he was flinching more for Fowley's name than for Spenders.

"Fowley has been reassigned back to Europe and Spender, well, they're still contemplating but he won't be wearing an FBI badge for a long time, that's for sure. Maybe he won't even wear one ever again."

She knew it was hardly any consolation, but at least it was something. Mulder kept quiet, but Scully knew his mind was working unremittingly.

Scully sighed.

"Mulder, I'll make breakfast now. And then we're to meet Skinner in his office. He wants to see you!", she informed him.

Mulder looked up at her. "He wants to see me?", he asked incredulously.

"What's so unusual about that? He's your superior.", Scully replied puzzled.

"Maybe you're right, Scully... maybe he just wants to give me some flowers with a card that reads, _get well, spooky_", Mulder stated sarcastically.

Scully looked at him seriously. "Maybe he wants to do just that, Mulder!", she then said with a solemn voice.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Skinner's office, 2 hours later 

Skinner had been talking alone to Mulder for the last twenty minutes. When Scully was called in again, Mulder gave her a pleasant smile.

Scully sat next to her partner while Skinner quickly went outside to instruct his secretary with something.

"And?", Scully whispered.

"You were right – so far", he whispered back. "He wanted to know how I feel and offered me to take some time off to recover fully."

"Told you so", she smiled contentedly.

"I told him I'm doing fine and don't need more time off.", Mulder continued matter-of-factly.

"WHAT?", she whispered, appalled. "But you're not even half way fit for work, Mulder!"

"Scully, the only way for me to get back to a normal life is to go on with my work."

"Normal life?", Scully snapped.

He frowned.

Scully felt a little guilty about snapping but also somewhat offended. The way he said it it sounded like their time together was counting for nothing.

He seemed to guess what she was thinking.

"Scully", he said sincerely. "I appreciate everything you've done for me. You keep my feet on the ground, you're the rock that makes my life solid. But I have to do what I have to do, do you understand?" He wasn't sure if he made sense to her.

She understood. She nodded at him, managing a smile. She was about to reply when Skinner returned to the room.

"Agent Scully", he greeted her with a nod.

"Now that you're both here and Agent Mulder has agreed to go back to work, I've got something for you. Just routine work, don't worry", he said the latter looking at Scully. "I know he must start easy!"

"So what is our routine assignment?", Mulder asked.

"You're going to Nevada for some research work", Skinner said without much ado. "You're leaving tomorrow!" He handed the agents the file. "See you back here next week!"

**THE END**

_As you might have picked up I'm letting them slide right into the episode "Drive"._

_Feedback is welcome!!! Hope you enjoyed it!_


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